In The Beginning...

Nineteen years ago I was thin. I was fit, pretty, a cheerleader, and happy with the way that I looked. Nineteen years later I am fat and would rather poke my eye out with a fork than step foot into my high school reunion. 

Life has been wonderful and life has been hard.

The wonderful: Marriage of sixteen years so far to a wonderful and loving man. Ten years in a profession for which I earned a graduate degree. Three homes I've owned. Three beautiful dogs. Two beautiful children. Parents who love me. Good friends. Scuba diving all over the world.

The hard: Lots of depression and medications. A tough job. A horrendous pregnancy and special needs child. Another pregnancy not even two years later (actually a wonderful thing but hard on the body). Poverty, grief over loss of loved ones in my life, miscarriage, a major move, and a loss of my job. Bankruptcy and OCD.

The hard has shown itself in the ninety pound weight gain. On the bright side, the lines on my face aren't too bad due to the fat that fills them in, and the gray in my hair has only recently began to show. Even though my husband has told me that I'm still pretty, I don't see it at all. 

And I want to.

Four years ago I lost fifty-two pounds through Weight Watchers and fitness, therefore I know I can do it again. I've been doing Weight Watchers for the past three months and I've lost twenty pounds. I have fifty-four pounds left to lose.

I'm assuming my twenty year reunion will be sometime between May and August of 2014, so I have about a year to make my transformation. I'm ready. I've already been doing this for three months and now I'm ready to make my commitment even bigger--put the pen to the paper and make this dream come alive. I stopped twenty-four pounds before my goal weight in order to have children. I'm done procreating. I'm giving away my fat clothes as I lose the weight. My body is tired of carrying this heaviness. 

I went to two high schools which means that I have double the reunions and double the commitment!

Welcome to my journey.

*Disclaimer---This blog will be poorly written, have a very small audience, and will break many grammar rules. I'm the mom of an infant and a toddler with special needs. I ain't got time for well thought-out blog posts.